A love story: 74 years and counting

By Kristina Light

Only about six percent of American marriages reach their 50th anniversary. Fewer than five percent survive to 60 years. And according to the U.S. Census Bureau, couples who reach 70 years represent just one-tenth of one percent of all marriages—so rare that statisticians have largely stopped tracking further. 

Howard and Jean Dye, residents of the Madison Senior Living in south Kansas City, are members of that special group. Married on August 10, 1952, the couple will celebrate 74 years together next summer.

One-room schoolhouse

Howard and Jean didn’t need a dating app, a blind date, or even a formal introduction. They grew up together in Callao, Missouri, attending the same one-room schoolhouse on nearby farms. Howard rode a horse to the bus stop each morning, while Jean walked.

 “I don’t miss the good old days; in many ways they were hard days,” said Jean. “I like modern conveniences.” 

When they were children, the first phone in the area belonged to a neighbor, and they had to walk to that house to make a call and speak into a wall-mounted, hand-cranked phone.

After graduating, Howard served with the U.S. Army in Korea. The two were pen pals, and it was during that time that a childhood friendship deepened into something more. He came home in March of 1952, and by August, they were married in a small Methodist church in their hometown.

Building a life together

What was the secret to their marriage? “Divorce was never an option,” says Jean. “We took our wedding vows seriously. When we made a promise, we meant it.”

Both agreed that they also enjoyed doing the same things. But they also saw eye to eye on how to raise their daughters—Audrey, Teresa, and Lori—and build a household rooted in shared faith and values.

Railroad family

Howard built his career on the Santa Fe Railroad, starting as a telegraph operator before moving into passenger service, then freight, and eventually office work. He escorted late trains from Kansas City to Chicago and worked the El Capitan route between San Francisco and Los Angeles. Jean held the household together and worked part-time jobs, including a position at Macy’s at Red Bridge Shopping Center.

The railroad moved them often—through Iowa, Oklahoma, Kansas City, Wichita, St. Louis, and Arkansas. 

The Dyes’ three daughters married and stayed married. Howard expressed gratitude that all three married good men the family truly loves. Audrey lives in Springfield, Missouri. Teresa is in Kansas City; she lost her husband but remains close to her parents and helps with their daily needs. Lori settled in Colorado. The family now includes seven grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren.

Early retirement

After retirement, they settled in Belton for nineteen years. Howard retired at 58, giving the couple a gift many don’t get: time. 

They visited 48 states, driving to most of them. One trip took them to New York, where they walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty and took a picture through the crown. They also photographed the Twin Towers a year before 9/11. 

At home, they preferred each other’s company; home-cooked meals were favored over restaurants.

In retirement, Howard enjoys playing games with friends, and Jean, always an avid reader, participates in a book club. 

Patience

Howard praised Jean as a very good mother and wife, the love of his life. Jean says Howard is, with a pause for effect, “the most patient person who has ever been born,” and adds, “I am thankful he was a very good dad.”

That patience, Jean says, was how Howard lived his life—and, they reflect, perhaps that was the real secret to a loving marriage: live by the Golden Rule. Be patient. Be kind. Be loving.

 Few marriages make it to 70 years. Howard and Jean Dye didn’t need a formula. They just needed to mean it: “I love you, and promise to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”